Traumatic experiences leave a lasting impression on the people. Often it’s the way that people cope with trauma which determines whether they can move forward. Bharati Mukherjee’s “The Management of Grief”, a book about the aftermath of the bombing of an airplane that killed many people, discusses how families of those victims deal with their grief. Richard Wright’s “Big Boy Leaves Home”, a novel by Richard Wright, follows Big Boy after he kills a soldier who killed two of Big Boy’s friends. While he tries to survive and hide, he also must grieve for his two friends. Both stories deal with tragedy and grieving, and how the characters cope with their grief reflects universal realities.
Mukherjee opens her story with an unorganized scene. Sheila’s family is trying to understand a plane rumored as having a terrorist-bomb. Mukherjee uses two radios to convey the severity of the situation. The radios are tuned to various stations. The TV in the den is playing American cable channels and networks. The media is a constant source of information for everyone. The story develops and readers can feel the growing desperation of Sheila, and other characters as they realize that their loved ones may not return. Mukherjee continues, “I’m wondering if pills are the only thing that could explain such calm. Not peace, just a deadening quiet. I have never been repressed. My body is ready to scream, even though I can hear the sound. It is unfortunate that this universal truth exists. Tragic loss is always difficult to deal with, but it’s even more so if the tragedy involves a great number of people. Many people choose to deny death because they can’t fathom it and want to remain delusional. Acceptance is not any easier once you move from denial. You have to accept that your loved ones may not return and that you might not have been able to say goodbye properly.
The characters had to identify the dead as the story progressed. The grief of many people was then processed in various ways. Mukherjee goes on to write, “Kusum’s put her property up for auction… Pam’s gone to California… Dr. Ranganathan…is moving jobs, and is going Ottawa. Ottawa is a 100-mile drive away, so he must drive 230 miles each day. He cannot bring himself to give up his home.” (165) Sheila thought Kusum was fleeing, even though she claimed that she was looking for inner peace. Sheila might have felt that way about Pam as well, since she also moved away to begin again. Many people choose to disconnect from the place where they feel grief. It is often too difficult for them to go back to the place where they have so many memories. They leave and start over, allowing themselves to move on without being forced to remember people that are no longer around. Sheila dealt with her husband’s and her children’s deaths in a strange way. Her husband addressed her in India. Mukherjee asks, “Shall i stay?” The image is already fading. You must finish what we began together alone.” (164) Sheila was asked by her husband to live on even if it meant she would be alone. Sheila decided to go back to Canada, to try and live life the best she could. Sheila felt like she could finally live again after receiving a confirmation from her husband.
Sheila’s tragedy is vastly different than Big Boy’s. Big Boy’s friends Bobo Buck Lester and decided to skip their school to swim in a private pool. A white woman, who was frightened for her own safety, saw the group and began screaming. Even though the group tried to assure her they were only trying to pack up their clothes to leave, it was not easy to get out. Jim, the partner of the woman who screamed, also a former soldier, shows up with a firearm and threatens all three women. Wright writes: “Lester grunted and stiffened as he pitched forward. He smashed his forehead against the toe of a woman’s shoe. Buck then fell over, sending a bright shower of spray into the sun. Big Boy or Bobo could not have processed what happened because it was all so quick. Especially if the boys were escaping to save their own life. The Jim Crow laws that were in place at the time forced them to leave to avoid lynching. He continued his journey, but tragedy was to follow him.
Big Boy fled until he felt safe, then hid under the ground in a small hole until it was safe to do so. Big Boy’s life was in danger, along with Bobo’s, when the mob that was going to lynch Big Boy found him. Bobo was eventually burned alive by the mob. Wright continues his writing by saying, “Big Boy’s eyes were drawn to a long, black spot near fire… It had moved. Lawd, that’s Bobo…He smelt tar, first faintly and then more strongly. It was blowing away from his face when the wind came. It must have been very difficult for him to leave behind his family. Especially since he put them and their safety at risk. Big Boy’s despair was not able to be accepted by him because he had to deal so quickly with the deaths of his family and friends. Wright described, “He had no feelings now, no fears. He was numb as if he had lost all his blood. He must have felt it was easier to deny himself feelings, as grieving would have led him into the grave. If he had chosen the path of grieving, he could’ve turned himself in for pain relief. Big Boy was able to save his own life by removing himself from his grief and emotions.
Grief can be a difficult emotion to deal with. The process of losing a loved one is not easy in today’s society. It is not wrong to use any method of dealing with grief, as everyone deals with hardships in a different way. Eventually, people will accept the truth and learn ways to ease their pain. There is no way to determine the appropriate time frame for moving on. Instead of trying to determine how long someone can grieve, it is better to focus on finding healthy outlets to help them release their grief so they can put their life back together.
Works Referenced
Mukherjee, Bharati. Introduction to Literature, “The management of grief”. Kathleen Shine Cain, Kathleen Fitzpatrick, Janice Neuleib, Stanley Orr, Paige Reynolds and Stephen Ruffins, eds. Pearson Learning Solutions published a book about Boston in 2015. 156-169. Output
Wright, Richard. xroads.virginia.edu. The University of Virginia. Web. March 12th, 2015.
